Three days ago I finished what was my first ever university exam session and let me tell you, it was a whirlwind of emotions, insecurities and late nights. I understood so much about myself and about what I will do better next time and I have to say, I am very pleased.
My first exam was on the 10th of January, Business Fundamentals I think you would call it in English. I went fully prepared and knowing that I would ace it. That turned out to be true: I did everything perfectly and got the maximum. I was very happy and for the first time ever I felt like hard work really pays off. So that is my first lessons learned there.
My second exam was probably the one I dreaded the most: Math. This was the lengthiest one, divided in two parts: the written exam (on the 16th of January) and the oral exam (on the 22nd). The written part went, in my opinion, kind of below mediocre. The oral part went much better and my professor assessed that: that got me a 26/30 overall. I could not have been happier, I must say. That grade is higher than any I have ever gotten in high school in this subject and I am proud of myself.
Fast forward to three days ago, I did my last exam of the semester, Public Law, at noon on the 20th of February. Now, I have never felt more insecure than I did the days prior to this exam. I did not study as much as I should have, I did not prepare my answers as well as I should have, so I was mentally prepared for a mediocre grade. The professor herself decided to examine the student who have actively frequented her class (leaving the others to her assistants), those she recognized the faces of, so she also picked me. She started asking me question after question, not letting me breathe, saying she liked my way of answering and therefore having fun torturing me. I did not expect to get the maximum, but I did. What mattered more though, is what she told me after: she said that she is proud of me and of the fact that also my other exams went well and how she is simply content witnessing this from someone who was not born in this country.
This final exam made me realize that I should believe in myself more, that I should assess my capabilities. A friend of mine, whom I was venting to the night before, told me to remember that I am Wonder Woman.
What you are inside shines through in times of hardship and coincidently, those times make you who you are.
This semester I have been insecure, thinking that other classmates of mine were way above my level and that I could not reach them. Well, that proved to be false. I have something that not many people have, and it is not a particular drive for a subject more than another; it is purpose. I have a grand plan in my head and I will not rest until it is accomplished. You want to know who I am? I am the person you hear about in motivational videos on youtube. Check me out.
I am not perfect, I have to say. There are many things I should have done differently: I should have started studying sooner and I should have studied more. I should have doubted myself less and ignored my brain when it would try to make me nap in the afternoon. This semester, starting Monday, I know better.
Thank you for reading.