My high school experience is Done!

I cannot believe this is real. I finally finished high school, after 5 intense and gruelling years (yes, high school lasts 5 years in Italy). The feeling has just started settling in even though when I am writing this 2 weeks have passed since I took my last exam.

I am content with the way my finals went. Could have they gone better? Of course, it can always go better, but I was well aware of what I have done during these 5 years and what my limits were (aka the math part was not really my forte).

I must say that I was not stressed in the least during my exam weeks. Yes, it was overwhelming but what was done was done and no late night study sessions could mend the spaces left behind. I was calm and collected, despite experiencing a very harsh UTI when I took my first exam. I know, it might be too much information, but it is what it is.

Now that all is said and done, I think I should reflect on what these last 5 years have meant and what they have done for me.

When I started high school I was a completely different person, and I really mean it. I was extremely shy, awkward and would not socialise whatsoever. Thankfully, I then became friends with a classmate of mine who was and is my complete opposite. She helped me become more open to opportunities and talk more. From then on, despite some people not believing in me, be it because I am female, be it because I am Romanian, I thrived. I often came out on top, regardless of whether I studied or not and that made people angry. The fact that I was respectful to everyone made people angry. And now, despite everyone’s doubts and comments, I am a happy woman, who feels fulfilled and who is extremely, extremely excited to move forward in life, and that means going to university.

I cannot wait (I mean, I can a bit) to start this new chapter in my life and take you guys with me. Thank you so much for reading.

xx

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Focus

I have thought long and hard about making this post, since it is mostly an impulsive one, based on recent events in my personal life.

The word “focus” seems very hard to materialise in our lives, especially nowadays, since everybody seems to lose said “focus” of what they truly want in life. What I mean by that word is complete and utter determination to achieve a certain goal. It is up there with other words like “ambition” and “drive”. It is something that you create and you work with. I do tend to judge people by how these three entities manifest in their lives and I admire people who have the same goal-driven mind like me.

The problem arises when this focus has to be shared by various aspects of one’s life. For example, I am the kind of person completely focused on school and on a future career, so when something else comes into my life, like a possible love interest, my focus unfortunately shifts. I say “unfortunately” because I have noticed, every single time that has happened, that when my focus has to be shared by more than one aspect of my life, the initial goal loses importance. I lose focus of school and my grades go slightly down. I lose focus of keeping myself happy and I start focusing on keeping the other person pleased, which is not how things should be.

I would love to be the kind of woman who can manage all aspects of her life impeccably, but I am not, at least not right now, not at this age. The ability lo balance various aspects of life comes with age and experience, which means that for now, I will have to settle and keep my focus on one single goal.

I have seen the same thing happen to friends of mine, in slightly more drastic ways, such as being almost left behind in school. On a good note, that has not happened to me and it never will, since I will make sure it will not.

The whole purpose of this post, besides trying to bring comfort to other people who might feel the same as me, is to also keep me accountable, to make sure that I do not make the same mistakes and that I do not lose sight, that I do not lose focus of what I truly want in life.

If you ask me, I must quote Beyoncé : “Make sure you have your own life before becoming someone’s wife”. Yes, this might take it to the extreme, but if, for a relationship, you have to let go of your goals, then let me tell you it is not worth it, since your career is the only certainty in this hungry and fast world. Your work, your grind, your hustle, whatever you want to call it, should be the main focus, and once you have that checked, then you can share your focus with whatever else may please you. But for now, I need to get back in my lane, the fast one.

Thank you for reading.

xx

 

Goals for Summer 2016

I am finally done with this school year and I could not be happier. This last year has been a drag and it has turned out to be more difficult than expected. Could I go back, I would probably study a little more certain subjects, since I know I will need to be better at them in the future, but all in all I did good. The final grades will be displayed at my school in a couple of weeks, I believe, or less, and we will see then.

Anyways, today is my first day of my three-month summer break and it is raining. I do not really mind it, since it is the perfect weather for reading, and I do have quite a lot to read this summer. Let’s get started with my list of goals, which may differ a bit from the picture above, but it was way too nice and posh not to use :

  1. Read : and by this I mean read a lot. I have four books to read this summer as part of my school programme and I would also like to read some of the books I own. I tend to be quite inconsistent with my reading during the school year, since the work load is massive, but I have no excuses this summer, not even having a job (being talentless and all of that);
  2. Train harder : when I go to the gym, I do not exercise, I train, which I think puts things into perspective. I tend to think about how athletes train and eat for their professional needs and I want to do the same. I am, of course, not an athlete, but I want to train as hard as I can and as hard as my body allows it : no more half-assing exercises and no more settling for an average weight when I know I could lift heavier;
  3. Eat better : I have recently started to follow a nutrition plan which consists in eating healthily following a charge/discharge diet. This basically means that I switch between high-carb days and low-carb ones and that is supposed to wake up my metabolism. That being said, I also have to eat very healthily and drink plenty water and I have started to notice some differences, even if they are very small;
  4. Blog better : this basically means that I need to be more consistent and more focused on this blog, although I already am. I do post every Wednesday and Sunday, but sometimes, because of life getting in the way, I skip a day and that makes me feel extremely annoyed; it is time to change that.
  5. Relax : this is a very hard thing to accomplish for me, since I do not know how to relax. Instead of just laying in bed, I would do anything to keep me on my feet, even if that means listening to music while walking around the house. I only associate my bed with sleeping, so even when I read I have to be seated on a chair. I need to take things more lightly and stop focusing so much on the bad aspects of life. I need to be a bit more stoic;
  6. Curate my social media : as you may know, I have both Instagram and Tumblr accounts, which I am quite active on. I also have a Twitter account, but I have never really loved it as much, although I do tweet sometimes. Despite being quite consistent, I feel like I need to curate them more, which means finding my own style and giving my pages a theme. I think I am quite close to reaching this goal on Instagram, but not quite on Tumblr, so that is something I have to work on;
  7. Visit Rome more often : I have made it my summer mission to go to Rome at least once a week or once every two weeks so I can visit all the places I have never visited and all the museums and churches I have never entered. I am obsessed with art and history, and since I probably will not be here next year, I want to take advantage of my surroundings and breathe in as much Roman art and history I can.

I am pretty sure this is about it, as far as big goals are concerned. I hope you liked reading this and make sure you stay tuned for my book reviews and posts about Rome, which will be present in these summer months. Thank you.

xx