Another year went by and I do not know where it went, yet I find myself, on this very day, utterly myself and utterly changed. I am 20 years old as of 4:50 am today and I have to say, I have never felt more Woman in my life.
I was talking to a very close friend of mine yesterday and she asked me if I think I have changed and how. The answers came flowing easily. I have less patience, in general. I cannot be bothered with feeble people and weak opinions, I want certainty and I want things my way. My demeanor has changed: starting university I decided to let people gravitate towards me, not the other way around, not caring if I had to be alone in order to be the person I always wanted to be. I immersed myself in my studies and the results are proof of that. My taste in partners has evolved: no more time for half-men and fuckboys, no more time for grey answers, it is either black or white. I have learned to live more in the moment and think before I speak. I have learned to not complain and be 100% positive, even when the circumstances are not ideal. I have learned to turn anxiety into energy and fuel.
I have grown so much as a person and as a woman and I am grateful for living the life I am living, for being able to study in an established institution, for having my small circle of friends who love and support me. There is nothing else I could think of that I need. I have it all.
My mother barged into my room yesterday, looked at me and said “Do you realise I am your mother? That I have been your mother for the past 20 years?”. And now I realise that and there is nothing I could be more thankful for. My mother is a great woman, who is good and kind and hard working, always with a smile on her face about to explode into laughter, while keeping me grounded and raising me into a self-aware and confident woman. She is my rock.
My 20th year will be my best one yet, I am certain. I hope you will stick around.
Thank you for reading.